On Sunday night I retweeted a post from Ben Zeisloft with a few brief comments on the practice of family worship that I grew up with and intend to maintain. Other than a few negative comments, I was encouraged by how much interest this practice received. Sure, ignore the kitschy AI art in the original post, maybe find some art from one of the Dutch Masters instead. Or create an artistic style depicting family life that is better than the great works of the past and definitely better than three-handed and six-fingered AI art. But the point is not the art, but the practice. I have talked about this Christian discipline before with my colleagues Jamie and Brad here on the Chinook Podcast, and I figured that today would be a good day to talk about it again.
Here is what I wrote:
I grew up in a home where the Bible was read around the dinner table at least 2x a day. My dad grew up in a home where the Bible was read around the dinner table at least 2x a day. I’m raising my children in that same tradition.
My dad always said that the tv is the center of the modern home, but the kitchen table is at the center of the Christian home.
I remember the lively discussions we would have when my siblings and I were in high school. My dad would lob some radical statement out and it was our task to refute that statement.
It was an incredible place of growth and fellowship.
It was just another one of those comments that I throw out on X from time to time. But I want to take the time to flesh that comment out here for the sake of those who might not have been raised in a home where the father took the time to spiritually disciple and “pastor” his own family. Maybe you have grown lax on this practice or you have never even begun. Maybe I can get you rolling with what I lay out here.
Starting Out
When you start out and try something new, it will feel strange. If your children are older, they might rebel at first (or find it annoying and dull). You or your wife might feel awkward at times speaking so openly about your faith.
It’s like working out. In other words, you just do it. You are creating a habit and a spiritual discipline in the home. Even if the feelings are not there right away, if you set yourself to this good task, basing it on the grace of God to you in Jesus Christ, then the joy will follow. But that takes plodding consistency.
Here is a good verse to reflect on as the basis for family worship or family devotions or whatever you call it: “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.” (Titus 2:11-14)
If you are wondering where the principle can be found of the father taking the lead in this, you find this verse in Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
I’ll add to this what this does not mean. This does not mean that the father is the only one who can speak. Throughout Proverbs and Deuteronomy you see both the father and the mother teaching children in the home. Obviously, children must be allowed to speak. If they never say anything dumb, then how will they find opportunity to be corrected? If they never say anything profound, then how will their father and mother find opportunity to praise what is right?
Before we move on to principles and methods, I do believe that the truth that the table is at the center of the Christian home can easily be discerned from Psalm 128:3 “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.” Maybe I’ll talk more about that another day. But here it is for reflection.
Principles and Methods
It can be easy to get lost in the methods and that would turn into legalism. We should be careful not to turn the method into the principle. So it is important to state right from the outset that families are able to develop different traditions that operate on the same principles that are derived clearly from Scripture. Every family will develop its own culture and traditions to some degree or another.
My parents and grandparents began and ended any meal with prayer and read the Bible at the dinner table at least 2x a day. This worked for my grandparents because my grandpa was a dairy farmer. It was possible to have 3 meals a day together and at least 2 with children at school. My dad was (and still is) a pastor in Toronto, and my siblings and I were homeschooled and so it was easier to have at least 2 meals a day together, and more often than not 3 meals per day. We would frequently sing together when I was growing up as well (since we had pianists in the home). Even now, I read the Bible with my children at least 2x a day, I ask my children questions and since they are young we sing a simple song (like “Jesus Loves Me”). I also have my 4 year old memorizing Psalm 23 and the Lord’s Prayer (growing up, my parents had us memorize large portions of Scripture - which still come to mind).
That might not work for people working in other industries. In those cases, I would wager that dinner time would be an appropriate time for everyone to gather for a meal, followed by a time of prayer and devotion and discussion.
Another practice that I have seen is a family here in Alberta who would gather for a meal and then before bed-time, everyone sat down together and spent a half hour on family worship, which included catechism, Bible-reading and singing.
A practice that I have seen in CREC circles is the Sabbath meal on Saturday night. Douglas Wilson and his family are famed for their Sabbath meals (I joined them once in 2010) and I see it practiced up here in Grande Prairie as well. It is a delightful practice and usually involves a short catechism that includes the children shouting out something about “kill the dragon and get the girl.” I would think especially in homes with older children where children are out in the evening from time to time, that this would be a very healthy family practice.
I am sure that there are other practices and oddities and eccentricites in other families and other homes. May God bless you as you raise your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, however you might do so.
A Brief Note on Hospitality
Notice for a second how much potential for hospitality arises from this spiritual discipline. Hospitality is welcoming others in. It is a command throughout the Bible (Isaiah 58:7, I Tim. 5:10, Titus 1:8, Lev. 19:33-34, Matt. 25:42-46, Heb. 13:2). If the meal is prepared and everyone in the home is gathered around the table, then why not add a few more chairs? But I digress. Back to topic.
A Word on Deuteronomy 6:
One more thought. God calls His people in Deuteronomy 6:4–7 “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
In other words, family worship or family devotions is not just something that you just do. It is a way of living. It is something that gets into your bones as you practice it, day in and day out.
…family worship or family devotions is not just something that you just do. It is a way of living.
Imagine a kid growing up in a home where they hear their dad humming a Psalm as he walks out the door to go to work, or a Mom who stops to pray in the midst of the chaos of day to day life. Imagine a kid growing up in a home where dad repents openly for losing his temper and mom apologizes for having a bad attitude about the hardships of life. Imagine a home that is full of song and when those songs disappear for a time, then that home is restored to one another and to God, by a father who is determined to bring his home to the foot of the cross. Imagine a home where the truth that work is worship is not just in the head (an intellectual idea), but it really comes out of the fingertips of all therein. This is not a perfect home, but it is a Christ-centered home, wherein Christ is Lord over all and in all.
This is what God is calling for in Deuteronomy 6.
Do you feel insufficient for such things? Well, we are all in the same boat then. God has given His Spirit to those who feel insufficient for such things. So let’s get to work.