Notes on Fighting the Porn Dragon
I’ve been developing some notes on fighting porn. There are many other good resources on this out there (ie from Toby J Sumpter and Tim Challies). This is just a fly-over in note form.
Notes on fighting the porn dragon
Porn usage is sin
Porn usage is a destructive sin (wife/future wife, family, friends)
Porn usage is a forgivable sin
Porn usage is a conquerable sin
Porn usage affects many men. It is increasingly common for it to affect women (and not just in novel format).
Porn is not just the images you see. It becomes the wallpaper of the mind. It becomes the soundtrack of your mind.
One of the effects of porn is masturbation. Fight porn first, masturbation next.
The question is - how to remove that wallpaper? How to start a new soundtrack?
How do we fight any sin?
A two-pronged battle (Heidelberg Catechism Lord’s Day 33, Rom 6:1-11, Eph. 4:22-24)
Hate the sin and flee from it
Love what is good and pursue it
Hate the sin and flee from it.
What are your triggers?
Stress?
Scantily clad women/men?
Other (ie boredom)
What do you do when the trigger is flipped and the alarm bell starts to ring?
The last place you want to be is by your computer or phone (even to read your bible on it). The best place for your computer/phone at that moment in time is in the garbage bin or being stomped incessantly under your heel (Matt. 5:27-30).
Spiritual - Prayer and Scripture reading (a hard-copy), go to church consistently
Community - call a friend, hang out with a friend, seek pastoral counsel, accountability software.
Physical - go for a run, take a walk, shovel some snow, pump some iron
Music - listen to good music (not the pornographic radio stations)
Read a good book (or listen to one)
That brings us to the next point. Love what is good and live that way.
The solution is not just to fight, but also to pursue something new.
Philippians 4:8–9 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
What you love is what you become. How can you teach yourself how to love what God loves?
Covenantal Marriage.
Marriage is not the solution to pornography. Marriage can help with sexual desire (Prov. 5:15-23).
A man (or woman) should strive not to play out pornographic images in the bedroom. A man (or a woman) should also not think that marriage will “fix” a pornographic addiction. The battle against lust & the manifestation of lust in porn addiction/usage will have to be fought in both singleness and in marriage.
Purity both inside and outside of marriage.
Sex is a good thing within the covenant of marriage. The Bible has many places that treats the physical aspect of sexual intimacy as something good and wonderful when done in love for God and one another and within the context of covenant. See Song of Songs, Proverbs 5:18-19, Deut. 24:5, etc.
God always calls us into obedience where we are at and calls us to be content in whatever situation we find ourselves in (I Cor 7, Philippians 4).
Contentment is a muscle or a skill that is developed through sufferings and challenges (ie Paul). That contentment must be learned both inside and outside of marriage.
A man who allows himself to be discontent outside of marriage will allow himself to be discontent within marriage, unless he comes to the realization that now is the time to work on it.
Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
That means whatever situation you are in, God wants you to disciple yourself to be a content man or woman.
Out with the old and in with the new.
There is hope.
Reliance on the work of the Holy Spirit.
A vision of the glory and salvation of Christ.
A trust that God is a good Father (study doctrine of providence).