Antioch, Natural Affections & Diet-Gate

My Defence Against Slander

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This week has been a whirlwind. Some big ministries published the Antioch Declaration a few weeks back. Then a Presbyterian brother decided to publish a Statement on Natural Affections. A bunch of Baptists & a few Reformed guys are trying to figure out what to do with the resurgence of Nazism in America.

Given the urgency of the times and the need to have a solid statement against all the food Nazis out there, I published a statement on Dieting and reached out to some big ministries to sign on.

I appreciate the support of all 8 individuals, anons or not, who went and smashed the ‘like’ button. You guys got my back. I can’t confirm that I got yours.

Sadly, the divisiveness and schism raged behind the scenes. So here it is necessary for me to defend my good name against all FBI anons, foreign operatives, a handful of boomerbrains & maybe 2 or 3 pastors who are wondering if I am an FBI agent planted in Canada.

In a private chat, I was accused of overstepping my reach by denying the badness of donuts. And I quote:

I can agree with you on the steak, but cannot in good conscience affix my name to a document affirming the goodness of donuts. I will, therefore, be writing my own statement in response.

The discussion soon descended into a battle over whether that steak must and should be Alberta beef, with its blood shed on Alberta soil, or if some import beef is allowed. Most were fine with a bit of blood in the beef, but not soil. So it’s just a blood beefism.

Grieved to the heart by the division that had been sown by my carefully crafted statement on steaks and donuts, I considered repenting of the ambiguity and the division I had created by promoting the goodness of donuts. Thankfully, wiser men stepped in and encouraged me to play the man in this desperate controversy. I quote again:

You are not supposed to repent if you did not sin. What you said was right and true, and you should not be caving in to the bad donut faction. You know those people. They will have you bowing and scraping forever and you still won't get their forgiveness.

A couple friends and supporters and I were wondering why these big ministries (see screenshot) refused to sign on or comment. A wiser and more intelligent friend pointed out to me, and I quote:

Also, your failure to differentiate between different types of steak. Science, as well as my own experience tells me that all steaks are not created equal. If God had wanted equally in steak He would have said, “Let there be Steak”, however, from Genesis 1:32 we learn that He said “Let there be Chuck, let there be Sirloin, and let there be New York, each after it’s kind.”

Another friend wrote:

I’m concerned about this not for what it includes, but for what it leaves out. Not a single word about brisket.

Someone even expressed concern that there was no reference to liver in the statement, given that liver and onions are some of the best food known to mankind.

So suffice it to say, I had to settle for 8 ‘likes’ and a few requests for “where to sign?”. But not from any of the Big Refa podcasts.

I concluded the debacle with these words, coming short of an apology, but not going there.

Alberta beef should have their blood shed on Alberta soil, and then the meat should be eaten by Alberta nationalists. That's all I have to say.

I’m waiting to see if I’ll be cancelled by this faction of the Christian right. I only punch left after all, and if they determine that I am to their left, then I deserve it.

Eric Conn has not yet reached out to me for comment to end this brother war.

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A brief addendum. I rarely post satire. I couldn’t resist this time. If it is a bit to “in-house” for you then ignore and move on.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash